16) Farewell Meeting December 30, 2004, with all texts.
16 Farewell Meeting December 30, 2004Program
1) Music: The Irish Film Orchestra with the main theme of the film Long Journey Home, 1998
2) Welcome by Trudy
3) Overture from Tommy (the Who, 1968)
4) Speech Lucia
5) Poem of Lara
6) Speech Leo, of the sixties band Dont Look Back
7) Dont Look Back Some Ting plays the Beatles
8) Speech Ananda
9) Bist du bei Aafje Heynis sings mir by JSBach
10) Caroline closes
11) Mozart's Requiem
Speech Lucia
Today is the departure of Peter. Almost two years has taken his fight against cancer. Most of that time was of good quality. In recent months it went wrong. He could not swallow, had lack of oxygen, could not lie. He complained about there not. Regarded it as oogstens discomfort. Continued attention to any positive development. Only when there is no chance of advancement was more, he gave up.
The way he fought, with many forced respect. That many people have let us know. He himself did not regard it as a particular quality or merit. For him it was just his character. That character, he also see many other times.
His school, for example. He refused, when his mother asked him, to go to kindergarten. She gave him the choice and he said no. Cut and paste, he found nothing. Much rather he played out, with some soil and a piece of wood. Once a toddler, he tried to cut a tree, build a raft. He was already well into his stride, before a policeman could stop him.
In primary school he was a good student. Advice was therefore going to high school. But Peter did not want to. Peter was a carpenter. Homework at home, he found a waste of time. That he did not have the right qualifications turned out to be difficult. But it has not hurt his overall development.
He spoke fluent English, German and French. He looked for himself how a motorcycle worked. Or an amplifier. Or a guitar. Or a satellite dish. Or a computer. Or a house. He taught himself to deal with anxiety and life-threatening situations. Learned later in the rematch on the MTS, the charms of mathematics, physics, chemistry, electrical engineering, computer science. And in the last period he developed properly in the field of medicine.
His character he showed in his attitude toward money. He had from childhood hobbies. Motocross with his moped. Music. Playing guitar. A pint. Hobbies cost money. For him it was obvious that he himself had to earn money. Through many hours working on the gardening of Elbers. Accumulated from the first money he bought a pickup. Philips, of course. It was good because he is after 30 years still in use. Two weeks ago I have sent on to a new drive belt to buy. The old belt he used his oxygen tube more easy to hang.
His choice in the Navy at seventeen to go was quirky. Many contemporaries were pacifist. Right against the zeitgeist, he was convinced of the importance of a reliable and well-organized army. The brightness of the organization of the Navy for him always remained the standard for other organizations to assess. Philips, of course, but also healthcare. Sailing and working in the Navy, he has been regarded as superb.
Character he showed in his relationship to authority. That was something in his eyes had to be earned. He hated people who get carried away by others. He is always thinking themselves remain and kept his own conclusions. He did his Navy time, he did at the time he worked on the furniture, he did when he worked at Philips and he did when he came into contact with health care.
He did not take anything for granted, simply because the doctor zei.Hij he heard what the doctor said. Asked questions. Antwoorden.Ging then listened to the internet and looked much information as possible. Including at the site of cancer-current. Again and asked questions, came up with explanations and suggestions. Searched for alternatives.
The condolence letter I've received from Philips, Peter described as a hardworking, secure, intelligent, motivated and enterprising employees. These same qualities in his journey through the health care made full use.
His relationship with women was special. Peter was a nice, nice man, so loved. But he has long remained a bachelor. Saw too many examples of what he called-men to thechain layers. Which were incorporated into a life they did not actually want. He wanted to decide what he did. And accepted the consequences thereof.
He sailed as the first female officers were introduced into the Navy. This led to heated public debate at that time. Peter had no qualms about a woman like to have more. Peter was a liberated man. Felt responsible for his own behavior. Could excellent cook. Initially he baked steak meals on Saturday for me. Later that Tasty Recipes from the Houtsmuller Diet. Had a shed full of tools. And, very special anyway, their own sewing machine. That he used.
But Peter also said demands on others. Demanded that they took the responsibility themselves to make choices and the consequences of those choices to wear. And he also applied these requirements in women. A woman is responsible for its own conduct. A woman should make sure they mastered the skills for everyday life. He wanted me or help with technical equipment or computer programs, but his condition was that I still get a real and had read the instructions ....
We met each other, became friends and eventually married, in that order, even some unconventional move in together. We were good and hoped it would stay so long. Unfortunately, the disease run everything else.
He fought like a lion. He kept control over his life. Themselves are always thinking. Tried every situation to get something good. Has every opportunity to enjoy the good with both hands. Also and especially true in the last year.
But he also accepted, when it appeared that it was absolutely necessary, the inevitable. That he did on his own laconic and positive way. A week ago he said to me, if I had a little more power I have a good case for myself to carpentry. We also laughed.
Together we have a nice life.
Too bad, it was so short.
Lucia Boerma
Lara Poem: Farewell
Hello dear dear Peter,
Unfortunately, you're no better.
You were very sweet,
Even though you my step.
Kluste you very much,
Only lately, a bit slow.
He that nice guy,
The guy who always runs hardest.
He is now gone forever?
Or is he still on his back legs?
Hello dear dear Peter,
Unfortunately it was not you better.
End
Lara van de Sande, December 2003
Speech Schilte Leo - sixties band "Do not Look Back".
"Peter Kooken - looks thirsty, bass guitar and vocals." For example, Peter mentioned on the website of our sixties band "Do not Look Back". Not a very serious description. More or less spontaneously chosen in an effort to catch a musician in a few words. I'll try to explain.
Vocals - Peter took over the top parties usually accounted for if there was to be sung. While we often had to get our toes - to name just sometimes can not, came the deliverance from the rear. For all that extra to improve the sound. - Why? Just that he's doing ...
Bass - Peter played his bass with an ease that we really were all jealous. The ritual was known about the rehearsals:
saying hello, come in, bass unpack, plug in and finally testing the sound with a pick on a string ... done! So do you!
Nonchalantly sitting on his stool with backrest, he always appeared to know his homework. As a bass player modestly in the background, but as a musician providing a rock solid base - as effective as accurate.
- Why? Just that he's had ...
Thirsty eyes - Peter liked not only before and after but also during a performance like his beer. Fluid loss when playing under the hot lights had to be supplemented regularly. Musicians work hard now, okay, but they leave a bite to eat, that was really unacceptable.
- Why? Just that he's found ...
Peter's voice cracked at a New Year performance, now already two years ago. Long time was it and whisper "crumble" talk.
His lifestyle changed, after it became what is revealed in him. He went looking for alternative ways to deal with what his life began to gnaw. Making music was a certain period at issue, just not possible.
Sometimes it better.
Peter's body began to surrender. It was increasingly difficult swallowing and later breathing. His condition, once soenviable, gradually went backwards.
No, Peter was not better.
It slowly became clear: there was no turning back, no chance of recovery.
The way he would have to go, was anything but attractive.
In Peter's vision remained only an informed choice: stop.
He found better.
Peter, our faithful musician in the rear, it's over.
There was no encore, you now have peace.
It was good to have known and have played together with you.
Our thanks.
Now we play one of Peter's favorite Beatles songs: Something ...
Speech Faust Ananda, cancer-current mail group
Peter
for Lucia
Lara
1 During the farewell celebration
at the invitation of yours Lucia
also room for some words
for and about you, Peter
your e-mail buddies
some of which are now present
and others - elsewhere - in mind.
2 The mail group -
That mail group -
The mail group of website-www.kanker actueel.nl,
Mail a support group for people who seek alternative and complementary ways, and go
besides the regular treatment of their cancer pathways;
a mail group so
which people who participate .......
well, you know .......
of which it really pathetic people who are blinded by fear and "under the spell of" throw into the arms of alternative doctors and therapists;
of those people who by definition do so actually not crazy or at least not rationally, that their intelligence and critical judgment lost in the choices they make, clinging to false hopes and unjustified optimism;
of those people ....... well,
perhaps you know them
sometimes so blatantly disrespectful lazy clichés cancer.
And yes,
You also got to Lucia in the mail group Peter,
You also went to look normal when you were expected late 2002 might not make it.
Crystal clear is clear
that you previously mentioned patient picture
make full belies.
Who you were or -
at least in our email group -
became bolder education
In some images, memories, a quiet greeting
articulated
and not all
from what I was sent before
I can show.
3.
A collage
statements about what you -
or
ode to Peter.
The chat with you on that wonderful meeting day in March is in my heart decided. Peter you are very relaxed, enjoy a smoke with and very positive. Patiently explaining to me what you actually had cancer because of pavement I had never heard. You Lucia, he occasionally complementary. What a lovely couple I thought afterwards, and that you will always stay with me.
We appreciated you are Peter,
inspiring you for life,
you are so thorough investigation of all possible treatments that you kept us informed,
your advice,
very clear explanation about your own treatment,
your sense of reality,
those wonderful men, logic and common sense that I sometimes did roar,
as I saw you sitting in March, with that beautiful cheeky smile on your face, enjoying the sun and the interviews,
your fun way of writing,
Just so no juggling of words from the heart,
It so between the lines to see how sick you were close but always positive,
so optimistic, so positive, so full of humor,
so involved in others, even at the last minute.
"For me the proof of your big heart," someone said.
You represent hope for me, and if I just dip into a Sat you were one of the people I myself took it as an example for the courage not to give up.
Like you, so I wanted my battle. You're not only my role model in the fight against cancer, even in the way you drew up to your doctor if you are painfully tight doors between the regular and ran into alternative care, and you picture a kind of life for me In your positive approach to everything that came your way, you always so cheerful tones in between - every time I have been surprised about.
Positive that yours was not a positive thing for me, but a watchful passionate clarity: where am I now? What are the options? what step now? And without hope and focus on the miracle in the long term release always set your goals closer, like in early December when you said: "The radiation oncologist is the problem with the lungs still the greatest. But if that problem is a little less, and Ilike yesterday for example, get a little air, I do a lot of things worth trying. "
4.
Following the last years a few statements of yours Peter.
But now seriously, I'm just doing everything I can to get rid of the rotkanker. Yes it entirely from that is the aim! Always keep hoping for the ultimate attainable. Less is always more .....
Also, I sometimes doubt, but doubt that always strikes back quickly. I dare not choose another way. Just because I'm afraid that much faster dead end. I walk down the road still leads in the direction of HOPE!
Now we await the first PET scan on ... But do go next week for the first time to Dr. Gorter in Cologne. That is in my opinion the best solution. Everything else will - like last year was so beautifully said in the Radboud - "Mopping with the tap". It feels different here moderately dry to begin with!
Tomorrow sweat (hyperthermia) to Dr. Gorter. It will now be outside the 'tent' is also something hotter because of the weather! Appropriate clothing must still be sought. Today as a spear (about 25 km / h) against the wind kicks in essence, with the wind good 40 to 45 per hour! Delicious! As long as there is still time, I have every reason a lot of courage to hold. But I know it can quickly turn ..... unfortunately. Until then ..... strength in battle.
It is still not much better, still little air, which the doctors can not be better. We'll see. Swallowing is still limited to water droplets, but even that's better than nothing!
5.
Finally.
"Soon all big party in heaven, or ..... what? It would all be good for something? "Lamented one another when many of the mail group through difficult things were going.
Peter then mailed back:
"What is good for (...) ...."" You look for something behind, but maybe there is nothing behind.
I know as a Catholic, educated person is also the story of Job, and have always the ultimate example of unconditional faith and trust found. "
"One is religious, the other is not." And that's good.
"But there will be a big party, I hope to see everyone there again!"
Thursday
did you -
Christmas Day
traditionally the Feast of Light.
Today
from an almost festive solidarity
In this together
your loved ones
around you
simply
all the best for you and Lucia Lara
further on your way
simply
day Peter
..................
and whispering
sings the song of the wild winds sometimes so disconcerting
softly
about beauty
in dignified courage
about beauty
to bend in the wind
fragile unbroken
12/30/2003
your e-mail buddies
Ananda
